Offering in-person sessions in Spokane, WA or online for anyone in Washington state.
White Flag, 104 S Freya St Suite 320, Spokane, WA 99202 | (509) 761-9961

Do You Feel As If Your Relationship Is Too Far Gone To Repair?

Have the romance and intimacy in your relationship started to fade away? Do you often feel disconnected from your partner and struggle to see eye-to-eye on important matters such as sex, finances, or raising children?

Perhaps you and your partner work well as parents, but your relationship lacks the sense of partnership and closeness you desire.

You might feel alone in your relationship, as if you and your partner are going through daily life without truly connecting. Your needs and opinions may not be heard or valued. 

These challenges do not necessarily mean that your relationship is beyond repair. 

There is always hope for improvement and growth.  

a couple talking in a therapy session

If You Both Value Your Relationship, Why Is It So Hard To Make Things Work?

Do you ever feel like you can’t seem to get anything right, and no matter how hard you try, you can’t get your partner’s attention?

Perhaps you long for more intimacy and connection with your significant other, but lately, it feels as if everything in their life comes before you. The kids, your partner’s friends, and their hobbies always seem to take priority, leaving you to wonder how much you truly matter to them. This could make you anxious, stressed, and exhausted.

You’re starting to believe you will never get the closeness you want. 

It doesn’t have to be this way. Although your relationship is going through a rough patch, that doesn’t mean you can’t restore your loving connection. 

Have you ever considered couples therapy?

It could be the answer to improving your relationship and bringing more connection and happiness into your life.

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Everyday Pressures Can Cause Conflict In Relationships

It’s tough to admit, but the reality is that every relationship will face challenges at some point. Between work, family, and household responsibilities, couples can easily become overwhelmed. Many people carry past traumas that make it difficult to trust each other and feel secure; despite this, virtually everyone still hopes for close, supportive relationships that can weather life’s storms. 

couple with arms wrapped around each other smiling

Unfortunately, sometimes those relationships end up feeling like the storm itself, leaving people wondering why they can’t find the safety and happiness they crave.

A common issue in many struggling relationships and marriages is a lack of safety & secure attachment. Couples may fight about trivial things like chores, money, or sex, but the real problem is often that they don’t have a secure attachment. And without that, it’s hard to connect in a peaceful and authentic way and have a productive conversation about everyday issues.

It can be frustrating and disheartening when your partner doesn’t seem to understand your point of view or know where you’re coming from. But with the help of couples therapy, you can create a safe and secure environment where you can communicate openly and tackle even the most challenging topics together. 

Couples Therapy Helps You Understand How To Get Your Needs Met In A Healthy Way

At Secure Intimacy Marriage & Family Counseling, our couples therapists take a comprehensive approach to helping you strengthen your marriage or relationship. Your counselor will focus on understanding both of your attachment styles and negative emotional style cycles. This way, you can identify the strategies you use  to get your needs met and how that affects your partner. 

When it comes to couples counseling, our goal is to assist you in learning how to communicate your desires effectively and update the way you perceive each other. By recognizing and interrupting negative cycles, we will help you develop new ways of interacting within your relationship. 

couple talking on couch

Our couples therapists meet you where you currently are in your relationship and provide a safe space for you to take risks and share your thoughts and feelings. Over time, you will learn a “new dance” in your relationship, allowing you to discuss complex topics easily. We will also create a comfortable and secure environment where you can respectfully disagree and still feel connected to one another.

The Gold Standard

Secure Intimacy Marriage & Family Counseling’s couples therapists have advanced training in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), which most professionals consider to be the gold standard of couples therapy. EFT is designed to help couples identify negative cycles, heal old wounds and create more security in their relationships. 

One of the goals of EFT is to help you and your partner communicate differently in counseling than you do at home. We’ll look at the underlying stories you tell yourselves when you are in conflict and help you share those stories with each other. We’ll also explore your negative emotional cycle and help you unite to fight the cycle rather than each other. The goal is to interrupt your negative cycle so that you can talk to each other differently and feel more connected. We’ll validate your needs for connection and closeness and teach you new strategies for getting your needs met. 

Ultimately, we believe that you can learn to show up in your relationship in a different way without having to change who you are. Once you and your partner can relate to each other and appreciate each other in a deeper way, conflict will generally diminish and you can experience deeper connection, intimacy, and newfound peace and harmony in your home.

You May Be Interested In Couples Therapy But Have Some Questions…

Will talking about our issues in therapy make things worse?

It can be hard to discuss difficult issues with a stranger in therapy, especially when you feel unable to talk about them at home. Remember, we are here to assist you in whatever way is comfortable for you. 

We understand that everyone has their own unique journey. The goal is to provide a safe space where you can share and discuss all the things that feel impossible to approach at home. You will have someone by your side who can facilitate healing and help you repair, and restructure the romantic bond of your relationship. Most couples find relief in therapy because they can talk about the things they can’t talk about at home. 

We’ve tried couples therapy before. How will this be any different?

If you’ve struggled with these issues for a while, it can be hard to see a way out when things feel stagnant. However, we offer specific interventions to help you feel differently and find relief from your relationship disconnection. Sometimes repetition is necessary to bring about lasting change, and that’s why we focus on implementing new strategies consistently until they become second nature.

Will it take a long time for therapy to make a difference?

We want you to know that we understand how much you desire a healthy and fulfilling relationship and are here to help you achieve it. Things may be tough for you now, but neither you nor your partner are to blame for that. 

It will take work and time to heal and repair your relationship, but you’ll be able to practice new skills during our sessions and apply what you’ve learned outside of therapy into your daily lives.most of our clients report feeling better and seeing improvements as they begin therapy.

Are You Ready To Get Back The Romantic Spark?

 If you want to reignite the passion and intimacy in your relationship, call (509) 761-9961 for a 15-minute consultation or visit our Contact Us page on our website.