Why Is Puberty Such a Challenging Time?
To paraphrase Jane Austen, it’s a truth universally acknowledged that puberty is the worst. Some cliches are true for a reason and this is one of them. Puberty is a challenging time for both children and their parents—one of tremendous physical, social, and psychological change. You could liken it to a rollercoaster, a hurricane, or a blender.
In today’s article we’ll explore what makes puberty such a challenging time and how you and your family can weather the storm gracefully.
Fluctuating Hormones
Our mood and emotions are intimately connected to the balance of hormones in our system. A less well-known fact is that fluctuations in sex hormones such as estrogen and testosterone are linked to anxiety and emotional dysregulation. Our bodies are sensitive to changes in these hormones. During puberty, our bodies signal that it’s time for change—but those changes run deep. While the physical changes are often easier to see, our brains and our bodies are still working to learn how to manage our emotions, which suddenly feel sharper and closer to the surface.
Some of the mental and emotional changes associated with puberty include:
- Mood swings
- Increased anxiety
- Sexual impulses
- Feelings of insecurity
- Depression
- Changing interests
Our bodies are adapting and evolving in real-time to the changes wrought by our hormones. What that means, in effect, is that the child we once knew so well may become suddenly mysterious. As parents, the best we can do is counsel that this is a normal process and provide a sense of safety and security that our children can return to—even after they’ve blown their lid.
Loss of Identity
Social pressures combine with puberty to induce feelings of uncertainty and loss of identity in many adolescents. There may be social pressures to set aside hobbies and interests that they now see as childish. This transformation can make it harder for children and their parents to stay connected.
It’s very common during puberty for people to abandon old interests and explore new ones as they ground themselves and search for what they perceive as a more adult identity. While this can be a bittersweet process for parents, to maintain a strong bond it’s important to nourish and take interest in new hobbies and curiosities.
Physical and Social Changes
With the onset of puberty and a growing sense of sexuality, social changes in school create new pressures to date or feel attractive—and those pressures can sharpen dormant insecurities. We all develop at different rates and whether your child hits puberty at a sprint or a stroll, both problems can create similar difficulties.
Girls who develop early may face teasing and bullying. For many, this time in their lives will be their first experience with sexual harassment, which can be profoundly traumatic. Boys developing more quickly than their peers may revel in newfound physical abilities while nursing insecurity about their changing bodies. Those who develop late may face insecurities and bullying as well.
Common Challenges
Because puberty is such a challenging time, where our sense of self is being challenged by both internal and external forces, it’s also the time we’re most vulnerable to struggles with mental health. Our emotional sensitivity primes us for struggles with depression, anxiety, and addiction—among other issues. Many adolescents are still developing self-soothing and coping strategies during this period of their lives.
Schedule a Consultation
As difficult as puberty is for children, it’s difficult for parents as well. Parents are always sensitive to the safety and welfare of their children. When parents see their children struggle, they struggle too. It is important for parents to keep the longer view in mind—understanding the emotional storminess of puberty is temporary and not personal.
If your family is struggling to manage the challenges of puberty, schedule a free consultation for teen therapy. I would love to meet with you and make a plan to navigate this journey together.