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Sex and Couples Therapy; Why Communication Counts

a couple in therapy together

In our culture, we can get overwhelmed with sexual imagery, Meanwhile, the amount of time and effort put into understanding sex is quite underwhelming. This paradox helps explain how we have 24/7 access to extreme internet porn yet so many couples struggle to even mention about their own feelings and needs. Left unchecked, the imbalance can lead to an unsatisfying sex life and plenty of unspoken resentment.

Spoiler alert: It does not have to be like this. Couples can avoid the patterns that result in shame and self-doubt. To do so requires a commitment — by both partners — to healthy communication.

Why Communication Counts

It’s your foundation. Sustaining a healthy relationship requires healthy communication — and not just about sex. Quite often, sexual issues between partners are rooted in other problems. When the doors of communication remain open, a couple is better able to get to the heart of the matter productively.

All of this, of course, is easier said than done. Communication is a skill and thus requires practice. At the same time, it’s an evolving and emotional process that demands ongoing attention. That’s why so many people opt for couples therapy.

How Couples Therapy Can Shift Your Sex Life and Your Mindset

A More Meaningful Connection

One of a relationship’s greatest benefits is that both partners can experience breakthroughs that deepen their connection. The communication tools you attain via therapy facilitate this process. When a couple can suddenly sit — face to face — and discuss sensitive topics like sex, they unlock a new level of their love.

Reducing Relationship Strife

Your sex life does not exist in a vacuum. Unspoken thoughts about money, time management, family issues, etc., can affect your intimacy in ways that may be easy to discern. The time you allocate to therapy can unlock such mysteries and shine a bright light on the work that needs to be done.

Each time you manage a relationship problem this, in turn, increases the likelihood that your sex life will benefit. It’s a positive cycle that can even manifest in more overall fun. As you connect more deeply and more intimately, you’re bound to notice yourselves laughing more. You can shrug off minor frustrations and learn to treasure the present moment for the gift it is.

Less Dissatisfaction

There are many forms of relationship dissatisfaction. Obviously, your sex life can be one of them. As you explore your needs in the presence of an unbiased guide, you’re building trust that will allow you to address any type of unhappiness in your relationship.

Then There’s the Sex Itself

As touched on above, we’re inundated with depictions of sex but often lack comfort in learning more about what we each like and need. If we were to trust pornography (and we absolutely should not), we might believe we’re flawed in a variety of ways. A sex therapist can facilitate the types of discussions that can open up an exciting new world of exploration and mutual pleasure. Communication will be crucial in this quest as you continue learning about each other.

So, Now What?

Couples therapy does not have to be about sex but it’s almost always about communication. Your counselor will have input, but you and your partner will lead the conversation. In other words, a commitment to healthy communication will become your foundation. When you’ve both pledged to engage in steady, honest, respectful, and face-to-face conversations, you will find that problems feel less daunting. Needless to say, this will carry over to any sex-related concerns or questions you have.

I invite you to reach out and connect with us soon to find out more.