Offering in-person sessions in Spokane, WA or online for anyone in Washington state.
White Flag, 104 S Freya St Suite 320, Spokane, WA 99202 | (509) 761-9961

How Ignoring Conflict Can Harm Relationships

There are very few people in this world who actually enjoy conflict. No one likes fighting, yelling, screaming, or having to fight someone on their own beliefs, wants, and needs. But no matter how hard you try to avoid it, conflict is bound to happen.

You may think that avoiding conflict would be beneficial to your relationship. If you never fight, what could go wrong, right? Wrong. What happens the next time you and your partner disagree on something? How will you resolve it? Conflict doesn’t always have to involve raising your voice, arguing, or not speaking to one another. Conflict is what helps you and your partner work through things so that you can come together even stronger than you were before it happened.

This is how ignoring conflict can actually harm your relationships.

Communication Problems

Communication is key in any type of relationship. Even though it may seem challenging, talking about the good, the bad, and the ugly is essential for all healthy relationships. It may feel easier to avoid conflict when it happens, but it can lead to other issues down the road that can be detrimental to your relationship. If you only keep your communication at the surface level, your relationship won’t have the same opportunities to grow.

Intimacy Issues

Not talking about the problems that you and your partner are facing can also turn into intimacy issues. Intimacy is all about having a deep connection with your partner. It’s opening yourself up and showing parts of yourself that you only share with a few, select number of people. When you and your partner can share your wants and needs as well as your insecurities and any concerns you may have, your intimacy can be strengthened. If you don’t feel like you can discuss these things, your intimacy may start to fall apart. Communication issues can occur, and it can creep into your sex life too.

Resentment

Constantly avoiding and never wanting to discuss any of the things that are bothering you can quickly lead to feelings of resentment. If you’re experiencing anger or bitterness about your partner, talking about it can help release those feelings. If you and your partner try to avoid hard conversations, those feelings will have nowhere to go. You’ll hold onto them and these negative feelings will build up over time. Eventually, you will explode because there will be no room left to keep these feelings bottled up. It’s always best to talk about how you’re feeling as soon as you start to feel a certain way so that you can work to resolve these feelings.

Unhealthy Relationship Dynamic

Conflict avoidance can turn into an unhealthy relationship dynamic. If you constantly try to avoid conflict and your partner wants to talk things through, it can cause additional issues within your relationship. One partner may be trying to remove themselves from any conflict while the other partner may try to chase their partner into talking things through. This can turn into a vicious cycle that is difficult to break. Over time, too much distance will have been made, and it will be even more challenging to get back to where you initially started to address the issues and start to understand one another again.

Next Steps

Conflict doesn’t have to be as scary as it seems. Even though it may not seem like it, having open and honest communication, even with difficult topics of conversation, can be just what your relationship needs. If you’re not sure where to start, consider working with a licensed and trained outside third party. Working with a therapist can help to provide and safe, secure, and unbiased space for you and your partner to work through those challenges together. Reach out today to set up an initial consultation for couples counseling.