5 Common Communication Mistakes That Can Hurt Your Relationship

Healthy communication is essential to a strong relationship. Being open, honest, and vulnerable isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary.

Unfortunately, even if you recognize the importance of communication, you might still be making mistakes that are doing more harm than good. Recognizing those mistakes can help to improve your communication efforts and strengthen your connection with your partner.

With that in mind, let’s take a look at five common communication mistakes that can hurt your relationship, and what you can do to put a stop to them.

1. Being a Bad Listener

Communication is a two-way street, and there’s a big difference between hearing what your partner has to say and actually listening to them. Being a poor listener can do some serious damage when it comes to the strength of your relationship.

If you find that you’re always just waiting for your turn to speak rather than truly listening to your partner, you’re opening the door for miscommunication, assumptions, and hurt feelings. If you constantly interrupt each other, you’re also showing a lack of respect and care.

Active listening is incredibly important. It will allow you both to feel heard, understood, and validated.

2. Playing the Blame Game

Even the happiest, healthiest couples have disagreements. However, they know how to argue the “right way.”

If you find that you’re always defensive when your partner brings something up or you’re constantly blaming them for every disagreement, consider it a personal red flag. Using accusatory language can make your partner feel attacked. They’re more likely to become defensive, and the conversation won’t be productive or healing.

Take accountability for your actions and focus on coming up with a solution, rather than blaming someone for the problem.

3. Avoiding Conflict

Again, even the healthiest couples argue. One of the worst things you can do is try to sweep issues under the rug. Emotions demand to be felt, and they will eventually bubble up to the surface.

Don’t be afraid to talk things through with your partner. Even if it’s a difficult conversation, it’s essential to express yourself. If you continue to avoid conflict, you’ll end up with unresolved issues and could even start to resent your partner.

4. Assuming Understanding

You can’t assume that your partner knows what you’re thinking. They don’t know your needs and wants unless you tell them openly, honestly, and clearly.

By making these assumptions, you’re putting yourself at risk of getting your feelings hurt, and it won’t really be anyone’s fault. This will create frustration, conflict, and even resentment, and it simply doesn’t have to happen.

Express yourself. Share your feelings openly. Let your partner ask questions and confirm things. While it’s not always easy to be vulnerable, it’s necessary if you want to feel truly understood.

5. Not Cooling Off

You shouldn’t avoid conflict in your relationship. However, you also shouldn’t have conversations when one (or both) of you is heated. Doing so might cause you to act impulsively or say things you don’t really mean.

Take a short break when emotions are high. Doing so will help you feel more in control of what you have to say, and can change your perspective before you communicate again.

If you find that you’re struggling with these issues, or anything else not on this list, you’re not alone. It might be time to try couples counseling to help with your communication efforts.

Therapy will help to clarify any communication issues within your own relationship. What’s holding you back or causing problems? Getting to the root of those issues will help you and your partner start to heal from the ground up.

You’ll also learn effective communication strategies that you can put into practice at home, ideally strengthening your connection and reducing conflict in the relationship.

If you’re ready to take that step together, contact our office for a consultation today.